Humiliating: Lia Thomas Tried Out For The Men’s Team – It Didn’t Go Well

After the US Olympic Committee told NCAA Champ Lia Thomas that she could only try out for the men’s national team because of new global swimming rules, she decided to give it a shot.

It didn’t go very well.

Thomas tried to qualify for five different races and didn’t place in any of them. In the 500 meter, the title the swimmer owns from college, She came in dead last. In the 200, the race she stole from Riley Gaines, she placed a miserable fifth. “It was like watching a child try out for an adult competition,” said Committee Chair Joe Barron, “I don’t think Thomas will be back in the pool anytime soon.”

“Lia has decided not to pursue a post-collegiate swimming career,” said a spokesperson for the athlete, “She only hopes that her withdrawal will help Riley Gaines move on and get a job.”

That last crack may seem a bit unwarranted, but Thomas has her reasons. Gaines was as nice as pie until she realized she only had two options in life. She chose “right-wing stooge” over “dentist,” and hasn’t stopped attacking Lia since. It’s almost like she really just doesn’t like teeth all that much.

It’s okay, though. With her lack of an ass and eyes that are so close together she looks like Dory, Riley is sure to stay in the spotlight they use to entice morons into the cult. God Bless America.

Related Posts

A Journey Through Time: The History of Kitchen Tools

Have you ever stopped to think how the kitchen tools we rely on every day came to be? Today, let’s take a trip back in time to…

For the first time, baby hears his mother’s voice

A Heartwarming Moment Back in 2017, an incredible video captured the touching moment when a baby girl heard her mother’s voice for the very first time. This…

Sally Field, 76, battled ageism in Hollywood her entire career and never had plastic surgery.

It’s rare to encounter a celebrity nowadays who hasn’t had work done, especially given the pressure that renowned women often face. It’s challenging to be a woman…

Princess Diana never-before-seen photographs

Princess Diana was not known as “The People’s Princess” just because it was a catchy moniker for her. No, she became an essential person for the British…

Remembrance of Reba McEntire’s Band Members Who Have Passed Away

Reba McEntire deeply appreciates the magnitude of loss and the depths of suffering. 1991 marked a turning point in history because it was the year the superstar…

Bruce Willis Battles with Dementia

In a recent revelation, it has been disclosed that the legendary Bruce Willis, now aged 68, is facing a courageous battle with dementia. This unfortunate condition has…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *