UFC Loses $1.6 Billion In Market Cap After Bud Light Announcement

It didn’t take long for the market to punish the UFC for partnering with the toxic Anheuser Busch brand Bud Light. In after-hours trading, the company lost more than $500 million, with another $1.1 billion going out the window upon the opening bell for the New York Stock Exchange.

That’s a total of $1.6 billion in investor money gone for a $100 million deal with the devil.

“We didn’t think people would still be so angry,” said Bud Light Marketing Director Joe Barron, “We did everything we could to distance ourselves from Dylan Mulvaney, and we put more flags on cans this year than anything else.”

Unfortunately, the average American will never drink another Bud Light, so this endeavor is doomed to backfire and possibly cost the UFC everything.

ALLOD Financial Specializer Tara Newhole says now would be the time to dump that UFC stock. “It’s only gonna get worse until it’s completely worthless,” she said, “Have you seen the conversations on Elon’s cessplatform? The right-wingers are convinced they set the market. And they’re all very, very upset with Dana White and Bud Light.

The UFC didn’t respond to requests for comment but they did send out a notice to all the “haters” to “stop complaining and buy something else if you don’t like Bud Light.”

We will, Dana. And we’ll do it at the ballet instead. God Bless America.

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