ABC Won’t Renew The View Next Year: “They’ve Lost Their Audience”

It was bound to happen. Over the past few years, The View has been shrinking in the ratings, all the while becoming more controversial and difficult to swallow. The show’s lead, Whoopi Goldberg, was voted the most disliked person in the entertainment industry.

“We can’t allow them to keep taking that premium time slot,” said Executive Content Director Joe Barron, “not while Roseanne Barr is gearing up to kick in at the same time next fall. She’ll clobber us.”

There’s no word yet on what would replace the show, but some have suggested a more food-friendly and less political theme for a change. “It’s right before lunch,” said Shirly from Pahrump, Nevada, “It would be nice to have some recipes instead of a Joe Biden Love-In.”

Shirley’s concerns are valid. 78 percent of respondents said they’d rather see an hour of paint drying than an hour of the show in its current form.

The poll was conducted by the Citizens United National Trust Society and consisted of 1500 Americans over the age of 65 who enjoy conservative politics and Sean Hannity. It has a 31 percent margin of error.

If food is what people want, they might want to head over to Rosie’s new show. There’s a rumor starting right now that she’ll be having regular visits from Gordon Ramsay, who taters think is on their side thanks to our very own Fallis Gunnington.

God bless America.

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