Megan Rapinoe Loses $25M Broadcasting Deal After Embarrassing World Cup Loss

Megan Rapinoe’s career in soccer is over. She was, however, looking forward to a lucrative new endeavor as a broadcaster with the World Soccer Network, a subsidiary of Futbol Internationale.

Unfortunately, with the embarrassing loss during the World Cup, the network has decided her brand’s legacy isn’t quite what they thought they were paying for.

“We’d like to hire the Megan Rapino of five years ago, before all the controversy,” said WSN Vice President of Programming Joe Barron, “but we would have settled for a champion. Now we have the memory of the kick she missed on a wide-open goal.”

Rapinoe’s spokesman has gone dark since the botched strike from “the best to ever play the game.”

ALLOD Correspondent Skip Tetheludah caught up with the player herself on her flight home from Sweden, where the incident occurred. “It’s kind of silly,” she chuckled,” that people think a penalty kick is a sure thing and that a net with a goalie standing in it is somehow empty. I’m not really concerned with what a bunch of pseudo-patriotic chuds think. They actively root against the team playing under their flag because they don’t like its leader’s politics.”

She makes a decent point, patriots. Would we root for another country in a war just because we don’t like our current leader?

Wait. Don’t answer that. God Bless America.

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