Michael Jordan has been moving to the right for years. During his years as a basketball player from North Carolina playing in Chicago, it was easier for Jordan to embrace his liberal upbringing.
All that changed, however, when Jordan decided he’d become a team owner, buying the Chicago Bulls for nearly $700 million, and an entrepreneur in the shoe business, selling the patented anti-gravity liquid that makes Air Jordan’s so special to none other than Nike.
Unfortunately for them, after they decided to sign Colin Kaepernick to a deal, Mr. Jordan couldn’t stand it any longer and took his patent to New Balance.
Jordan says he’s all done being a shill for the Democrats because he’s supposed to relate. According to his spokesman, Art Tubolls:
“Mike is just done with all of it. he makes too much money to not support Trump’s tax breaks. He runs a professional sports team. He’s the 52nd wealthiest person on the planet. He’s supposed to what…pretend he wants kids like him growing up getting handouts instead of working hard to achieve their dreams?”
It’s almost like people think Jordan was born with some kind of natural talent. the truth is, he had a limp and couldn’t jump to save his life at 12-years-old. He was kicked off the neighborhood court for sucking so bad. But that didn’t stop him. That awkward little kid tossed aside his Obamaphone and free steak and lobster and went out and got it for himself instead.
Now he’s finally making the wise decision and joining the winning team. According to Mike’s accountant, his 2022 Democrat dues haven’t been processed, which means he can cancel it and legally give the Trump 2024 campaign $880 million.
Thank you, Mr. Jordan. You’re changing lives.