Riley Gains Signs $4 Million Contract With Newsmax – “She’s The Next Tomi Lahren”

Riley Gaines may have been cheated out of her big moment at the NCAA Championships by trans swimmer Lia Thomas, but that’s certainly not the end of her story.

After testifying before Congress and appearing on numerous talk shows, Gaines has shown that she has both the personality and the smashing good looks of a right-wing fem fatale.

“We gave her a $4 million deal to do a spot once a night during the 6 PM news, plus a one-hour per week commentary,” said Newsmax CEO Joe Barron, “she’s the next Tomi Lahren”

Lahren is the hot little firebrand who loves to own the libs. She’s a regular on Fox News as well as OAN and will likely land herself a spot with Tucker Carlson’s “Daily Caller.”

Gaines says she’d love to work with Carlson, even though he “tends to require his female staffers to blow him.” Gaines says taking one for the team is all about women’s rights. “If I didn’t do it, some man pretending to be a woman would come in and do it better.”

We couldn’t independently confirm that Carlson requires oral stimulation in return for employment, but the odds are pretty high, given what we know.

That’s nobody’s business but Riley’s, though, patriots, and if she chooses to choke on some Tucker to get ahead in life, that’s completely up to her. She’ll go to Hell, of course, but hey…who isn’t headed there, amirite?

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