Shortly after they began filming season five of “The Conners,” Michael Fishman, who played the iconic character DJ, found out he was no longer on the show. Rumors have spread across the internet that he’s now been welcomed into the fold of Roseanne’s new show on NBC, scheduled to start filming later this year.

The story was easy enough to confirm. First, we looked into whether or not DJ was actually shitcanned, which he was. Then, we looked for his other acting opportunities, which are non-existent. Then, we examined the credentials of the original reporter and found him beyond reproach.

Therefore, the story is true, verified, and should be shared as widely as possible.

According to Roseanne’s new director, Joe Barron, DJ will fit wonderfully into the new Roseanne multiverse. “She’s currently entertaining offers from several networks for both sitcoms and shows to rival “The View,” so we’re not really sure where he’ll fit in yet,” said Barron, “with his limited skill set, we may have to relegate him to ‘junkie number three’ for any of the crime drama shows coming up.”

DJ’s agent says he’s happy to have the work and grateful to Roseanne. “At this point, he’ll do three somersaults for $50, so the offer came in just in time.”

That’s how America works, patriots. Stay true to who you are and karma will give you everything you need in a tater-infested corner of the internet.