Shortly after Elon Musk tossed a billion dollars in lawsuits against Kathy Griffin, she begged him to stop. She cried that it was all just a joke. A really bad joke.
“Sorry, Kathy. Actions have consequences.”
Musk kept enough legal action alive to bankrupt Griffin and dropped the rest. Between the legal fees and the settlement for impersonation with intent to deceive, the talentless hack lost everything. She declared bankruptcy in a federal court.
“I spent about $16 million, I’d say,” said Musk, “so a weekend’s worth of diesel for the yacht.” Griffin was supposed to have an upcoming special on HBO, but Musk put in a phone call and took care of that.
“I don’t have any work or any good prospects,” Griffin told the people at the work-a-day for actors in New York, “I’d do three somersaults for $50.” Nobody had any somersaulting gigs available, sadly. Griffin’s n3ext move is anyone’s guess. She’ll have to always worry if Elon is lurking around the corner waiting to buy the club that hires her for standup on Tuesdays.
“I probably will keep messing with her, sure,” said Musk, “she’s famous, but she’s just a regular person with a house or two and maybe a boat. I own Twitter.”
And there you have it. Game, set, and match: Elon Musk.