Shaqille O’Neil Sets the Record Straight: “I’m No Democrat”

Shaquille O’Neil wants the entire world to know that he is on no way associated with the Democrat party.

“I’ve always been a Republican,” said the 7-foot-1 superstar, “Now more than ever.” O’Neil made the statement after he demanded that Disney remove him from any and all of the things he’s been in over the years.

“Shaq has appeared in dozens of Disney movies, shows, and cartoons. He’s never been compensated because he was doing it for the children.

Now, he sees that Disney is out to groom the children, so he no longer wants to be a part of that.

Good for you, sir. Thank you for seeing the light and making sure others do as well. It’s great to see black role models living up to pasty white expectations of them.

Other stars are starting to come together to denounce the evil, child-hating Democrats. Rumor has it that Shaq may be joined by other people the common tater would never suspect of being in their cult. Denzel Washington, Samuel L. Jackson, and several other people of color they’d otherwise not care about will lead the charge to “walk away.”

It’s a great day when all of our biases are confirmed before noon, patriots. God bless America.

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