Nike Ends Partnership With Megan Rapinoe: “We Paid For a Champion”

Soccer star Megan Rapinoe is returning from the World Cup a broken athlete. The loss to Sweden lies squarely on her after missing an easy penalty shot on an open net.

Her biggest sponsor, woke brand Nike, is so disappointed that they ended their nearly 2-decade relationship with the player.

“We paid for a champion,” said Marketing Director Joe Barron, “but unfortunately those days are over. She was great once. Nobody will forget that.”

Considering she’s also been dropped by the OL Reign, the US Women’s Olympic Team, and the World Coccer Network, that statement may not stand up to the test of time.

“It all started with a Twitter trend,” said ALLOD sports analyst Art Tubolls, “As soon as her name came up and there was video of that shot, it was over. That one dude in Maine started pumping out headlines like crazy. Google showed an uptick in searches for ‘Megan Rapinoe bad,’ which is like writing a blank check for political trolls. Honestly, I’m a bit surprised at the lack of fact-checks.”

It’s true, patriots, we’ve added the obligatory “Punishing Megan Rapinoe” category for the festivities. We don’t see her beating out Jason Aldean, who we still wouldn’t be able to pick out of a lineup had it not been for the dumb song. The gods are looking favorably upon Rapinoe stories, however, and we just sacrificed 2/3rds of a moose up here to keep the ball rolling. There was blood and symbology and possibly some chanting involved.

Luckily, that’s all covered by the 1st Amendment. God Bless America.

Related Posts

Kate Middleton’s Cancer Diagnosis: Revealing the Shocking News

Last week, much to the surprise of her close friends, Kate Middleton shared the news about her cancer diagnosis. While she confided in a small group of…

Stray cat refuses to eat unless she gets food in a bag

A mother’s love for her child is stronger than anything else. Often, a mom will go without so that her children can get what they need. It…

Paris Hilton lashes out at mean online comments about son’s head: “He just has a large brain”

While fame and notoriety can be a lot of fun – think endless streams of money, flashy red carpet events, mingling with society’s elite – living in…

Kate Middleton spotted in public for first time since abdominal surgery, claim onlookers

It’s been 84 long days of rumor and speculation, but Kate Middleton has finally been spotted out and about for the first time since her January surgery….

This Unusual Dance Routine by Two Girls Had the Entire Crowd On Their Feet from the Moment They Turned Around!

Initially, you might underestimate the captivating power of this dance routine, but you’d be mistaken. Clogging, a typically impressive form of Irish dance, is known for its…

The Golfing Trip That Ended My Marriage: A Shocking Picture Changed Everything

Sarah had eagerly awaited her final day at her 9-to-5 job before transitioning to a new role. With the sun beaming down and a sense of liberation…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *