Jason Aldean Signs On To Play “Small Town” At Five Upcoming Rallies: “I’m So Honored”

Jason Aldean is on a roll lately, racking up more concert dates than any other artist in America. According to the artist, however, there are five upcoming dates that mean more to him than all the others combined.

“President Trump asked me personally to play ‘Small Town’ at five of his upcoming rallies,” Aldean told ALLOD Correspondent Joe Barron, “I’m so honored.”

The exact dates and locations of the rallies will be kept a secret until the day before so people don’t start grabbing up all the tickets to multiple showings.

“We want everyone to have a chance to see the show,” Trump told his followers on Truth Social, “and of course there will be special opportunities to meet us both!”

Trump then directed us to a fundraiser email that offers a chance to win a spot at the meet and greet. “For every $500 you donate to Trump 2024, you’ll receive one entry into the lottery for the special dinner and picture time with President Trump and Jason Aldean.”

On further investigation, the small print revealed that guests will actually attend the feast with cardboard cutouts of the pair hosted by Kyle Rittenhouse, who will pay each attendee $5 to ask him for an autograph. For the price, it seems pretty fair.

It all goes to a great cause, patriots. If Trump is convicted he’ll need to campaign using commissary items he can only get with cash from patriots like us. God Bless America.

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