ABInbev Sells The Budweiser Label For $1.2 Billion to Chinese Brewer Shiamatzu

ABInbev, the Belgian multinational corporation that owns the America Budweiser labels, has decided to dump the brand rather than continue dealing with the ongoing boycotts in the US. Chines brewer Shiamatzu, the largest brewer in the world, picked it up for just under $1.2 billion, approximately $30 billion less than it was worth six months ago.

“It’s just not worth the hassle,” said Inbev CEO Josep Barrone, “the Chinese sell 37 million barrels of Bud Light already, so it’s a win for them.”

A spokesperson from the company said that the move means the US operation will change drastically. “The upper and middle management will all be replaced with Chines Nationals,” said Cynthia Luhoo, chief of American operations, “and we’ll most likely replace many of the typical US workers with Chinese immigrants.”

The boycotts worked out well, in other words, and a company learned a valuable lesson.

“Yeah, it’s great,” said Brewer’s Union President Art Tubolls, “The boycott axed about….22,000 jobs so far. But not to worry. Those people working those production line jobs are probably a bunch of liberals anyway. Luckily, my job is still secure, and I get a bungalow in Shenzhen.”

The deal was reportedly brokered by Hunter Biden after Ivanka Trump thought it would be “too obvious” for her to exert the influence she purchased with taxpayer dollars there. Biden allegedly told the company that if they didn’t buy the Budweiser name, his daddy would send drones and kill them all in their sleep.

We couldn’t confirm the report, which typically means it’s true. because that’s totally how these things work. God Bless America.

Related Posts

Caitlyn Jenner Opens Up About Her Relationship with the Kardashian-Jenner Family

Caitlyn Jenner, the 73-year-old former Olympian and reality TV star, recently sat down for an interview to promote her upcoming documentary about her family. In the interview,…

Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn are happy because they became grandparents again.

Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn are really happy because they just became grandparents for the eighth time. They’re as thrilled as any grandparent would be! Everyone knows…

Sally Field’s worst on-screen kiss in her decades-long career might be a surprise to most

Sally Field has always been a favorite of mine. She is a legendary actress with exceptional talent. Additionally, the 76-year-old has had a long history of on-screen…

Flight attendant gives hilarious response to an arrogant rich woman

A very well dressed woman at this person’s flight refused to raise her tray when asked to do so by the gay flight attendant. Instead, she showed…

Michael Strahan’s daughter in extreme pain during chemotherapy for brain cancer

In a poignant and candid YouTube vlog, Isabella Strahan, the daughter of renowned TV personality Michael Strahan, opened up about her ongoing struggle with brain cancer. At…

A royal expert gives a “major” report on Kate Middleton’s surgery weeks after she got out of the hospital.

Kate Middleton is continuing her recovery from her abdominal surgery in mid-January. The Princess of Wales left the hospital, The London Clinic, almost two weeks after the…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *