ABC Hires Tim Allen As Its “Conservative Programming Consultant”

ABC has decided that it can no longer ignore the growing number of conservatives in Hollywood. To maintain balance, the network has decided to create a “Conservative Ambassador of Programming” position to ensure that the entirety of the audience is represented.

Tim Allen, who spent years on ABC with two successful sitcoms that both leaned to the right, has been chosen as the first to hold the title.

“We’re excited to have Tim aboard,” said ABC President Joe Barron, “He’ll bring another dimension to our network.”

Some actors, writers, and directors have voiced their concerns that having someone like Allen looking over their shoulder may interfere with their messaging. “We write woke,” said The View’s head writer Sandy Batt, “and I don’t see that changing unless he fires us.” ABC hasn’t announced the full scope of Allen’s job title or whether or not he can release people from their contracts.

“He’s probably gonna make a killing selling coke,” said ALLOD Entertainment Correspondent Tara Newhols, “He’s really good at it and still has the connections.”

Just last night, Allen was spotted on The Sunset Strip at a typical comedy club hurling Rob Schneideresque woke jokes at an audience full of Roseanne Barrs.

Such is the way in Hollywood, patriots. God Bless America.

Related Posts

She put a ball of aluminum foil in her washing machine. Only a few people know this awesome trick

No one really likes doing laundry but it is a part of our daily activities. In most cases, it is time-consuming and quite frankly annoying. Luckily for…

Bull was chained up his whole life – now watch when this animal hero cuts the lock

Whether it’s a dog, a cat, a hamster, or a cow, one thing is clear: it’s never okay to neglect animals. A bull named Bandit lived his…

The mom wants to give her baby, who has Down syndrome, to foster care. So, the dad decides he’ll take care of the baby all by himself.

Every day, lots of babies are born all over the world with conditions that make them different. But every baby is special and deserves love, care, and…

Jane Fonda criticizes Jennifer Lopez’s relationship with Ben Affleck: ‘Feels too much’

A friend is someone who checks in on you and provides honest feedback on your relationships at regular intervals. Jane Fonda, who is close to Jennifer Lopez,…

Recognize her? Better sit before you learn her true identity…

Joan van Ark was born on June 16, 1943, in New York City, New York. Her parents were not connected to the film industry. When Joan was…

Gracefully aging, Helen Hunt is as beautiful today as she was five decades ago

Pressured by Hollywood and discerning fans that impose impossible standards of perfection, many celebrities are chasing youth in the hopes of achieving immortal beauty. Dismissing expectations of…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *