Publix Drops Ben and Jerry’s “For the Good of Our Kids”

Ben and Jerry’s decided to join the Woke Train to Nowhere, and it has officially cost them big.

Publix CEO Joe Barron released a memo stating that the company, which is employee-owned and very family oriented, will no longer carry Ben and Jerry’s Ice cream products.

“They’ve engaged in a culture war, unfortunately, which is an inherently adult ideology,” said Barron, “but they sell…ice cream. Until we find a way to keep children away from ice cream, our stores won’t carry the brand.”

There are several other chains considering dropping Vermont’s most famous dessert, including Aldi, Food Lion, and Kroeger.

“We’re not really sure what their issue is,” said Ben, “all we did is stop advertising on Twitter. We haven’t added any satanic imagery to our products or anything, so…”

Barron responded that it’s the principle that matters. “If they don’t think it’s wrong to pander to groomers, that’s on them. Personally, I value free speech, as I know our employees do as well.”

The whole thing seems extremely unnecessary, but in the end, “go woke go broke” for the win. While the boycotts are doing little to nothing in the real world, Conservaturdia sure does believe it’s all crumbling to the ground. God Bless America.

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