Kid Rock and Jason Aldean, two of the most patriotic country artists today, are teaming up for a massive tour to combat wokism and cancel culture. Both Rock and Aldean have been targets of the woke liberal left.

They’re going to show the wokesters there is strength in numbers.

The official is coming shortly, and the tour will hit major stadiums and small-town venues. On select dates, Roseanne Barr will be performing a comedy routine and Kyle Rittenhouse will be starting the shows off with a recital of the Pledge of Allegiance.

There will also be voter drives to support Donald Trump’s 2024 campaign to return to the White House.

This tour is going to be everything you’d expect from patriotic musicians. Flags, guns, God, Coke, half-naked truckers, and toothless hookers ready to service the drunk concertgoers at a discount. There will also be special whites-only bathrooms, which is redundant because really, who else would go see this?

Tour manager Joe Barron is getting dates and venues ready. “We are going into places that most concert tours don’t, and it’s exciting”. People in the surrounding areas of the dates will need to be extra vigilant because catalytic converter thefts will be on the rise for extra money for concert tickets as well as meth for said concerts. It’s gonna be a hoot for anyone who thinks Hot Pockets are a good dinner.

There will be lots of beer, but no Bud Light. No woke crap at all. There will be fish stick vendors along with on-the-spot Plan B sellers in case things get too rowdy with the brother and sister couples that stole catalytic converters to be there. The family that swipes together sleeps together. This is gonna be the event of the year. God bless America!