Did you ever think you’d live to see Frank Reagan replaced? Well, showrunners, writers, and directors of the immensely successful show Blue Bloods have finally had enough of Tom Selleck’s conservative Republican antics, and have chosen to replace him at the end of this season.

None other than massive superstar Tom Hanks will be coming in to take over as Commissioner Sanders Batt to set all the programs plotlines and characters into place. He will be introduced as an “old family friend” of the Reagan’s, and will take responsibility for their safety.

What will happen to Selleck’s character? And why Tom Hanks as the new guy? The show’s lead writer Luis Colon tells us the whole story.

“Tom is a complete asswipe in person,” he contends. “I mean, he’s a conservative Republican. What would you expect? What with his blabber about ripping off old people’s money for his verkakta ads. We’re finally jettisoning him.”

“The character, Frank, will be killed off by an incredibly potent chili fart. Just blows him sky high. Hanks will step in as Sanders to track down the chili and punish the assassin. Hanks is super liberal, so we’re very happy we got him.”

But isn’t season 14 a long way to go to start replacing lead characters?

“Oh no, not at all,” says Colon. “The old bastard’s ready for the forever box now. Adios, Maverick.”