Disney CEO Reports Worst Fiscal Year in Decades: “Woke Reboots Are Ruining Us”

Disney CEO Bob Iger says the company just had its worst fiscal year in decades. “It’s an unsustainable mess,” he told shareholders in a closed-door meeting, “I’ll be honest. It won’t be easy to recover.”

The problem, according to the re-hired executive, is his predecessor’s agenda. “During the two years of his tenure,” Iger said, “Joe Barron nearly brought a storied American institution to its knees with his woke mindset. That changes now.”

Iger says the entire script list for 2024 has been scrapped and the writers have all been reassigned to new projects. “We’re not going to have gay women writing for the Frozen series,” he said as an example, “they’ve turned two sisters into perverts in the eyes of a lot of Americans.”

Iger says the process of restoring Disney to greatness will require lots of changes and a bunch of sacrifices. “I think we’re up to the challenge.”

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis immediately took to the airwaves to bobblehead his way through a victory lap, claiming that it was the state’s billion dollar loss that sparked the rehiring of Iger and the expulsion of the infamous Joe Barron.

A bunch of right-wing turds on Twitter (X) claimed it was the disastrous opening of “The Little Mermaid” that led to the statement, but unfortunately, the film did nearly $600 million at the box office.

“They’re just dumb,” said ALLOD Stupidity Analyzer Tara Newhole. She definitely earned her salary today. God bless America.

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