Target Closing 14 Stores in Florida and Alabama: “They’re Virtual Ghost Towns”

Target was already on thin ice with conservatives when some genius in marketing decided to Bud Light the operation completely. Now, in the heart of the American south, Target finds itself with 14 locations that will never turn a profit again.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said Target Operations Manager for the Southeastern United States Joe Barron, “There’s literally nobody there most days. A straqggler here and there. We’ve already paid off more than 80 percent of the staff.”

The other 20 percent will have to find other jobs as well, as the locations will stop operating on the first of next month.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” said 67-year-old Margaret Garforkian, “I’ve worked here for 23 years.” Unfortunately, Margaret, the company wasn’t thinking about you when it went woke.

ALLOD Correspondent Tara Newhole caught up with Garforkian, who said working there has been just awful. “I get death threats from boys in pickup trucks with those yellow snake flags all the time,” she said, “I’m not sure what I did wrong. My husband has one of those flags.”

Unfortunately, Margaret is collateral damage in the ongoing war against wokeness, along with a bunch of other Target losers and a bunch of liberals who were dumb enough to take jobs with an obviously leftist brewery.

Maybe you should retire, Mags. Just be sure to forfeit your Social Security since you’re a traitor to your country. God Bless America.

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