Struggling Disney Giving Away Free Tickets So Parks Look “Less Empty”

Disney parks are so empty that teams of customer service specialists have been sent out into the area to give away free tickets.

More than 7,000 tickets went out in fanny packs, according to events coordinator Joe Barron, and that was just the first run.

The tactic isn’t new. In the late 90s, when Ted Turned decided to show the McMahons how to run an entertainment business, the WWE gave away tickets to Monday Night Raw on a regular basis.

Disney, which provided the set for Hulk Hogan’s boat show, is now caught trying to emulate the failing wrestling tactics and will have to most likely hire Ted Turner to fix it.

Turner, who hasn’t worked since he sold CNN to the Chinese, says he has little interest in wrestling, but he does believe the sweatshops in Taiwan produce much higher quality shoes than their Korean counterparts.

North Korean President Kim Jong Un says Nike isn’t welcome in his country, and neither is Disney.

Disney will continue to give away tickets for free to unsuspecting tourists until the boycotts come to an end and conservatives allow them to do business again. President Joe Biden says he’s not in favor of nuking the filibuster either way. God bless America.

Related Posts

Rescue takes in severely matted dog who looks like a wig — today she’s unrecognizable

It’s truly remarkable the difference a haircut can make, especially for a dog. Many stray and neglected dogs go ungroomed, causing them distress as their fur becomes…

We Finally Found A Full Version Of The 9/11 Commercial That Only Ever Aired Once

A poignant Budweiser commercial that aired just once on Super Bowl XXXVI in 2002 captures the emotion of 9/11. The ad showcases the iconic Clydesdale horses, a…

Woman waves to bear from her car – look at his unexpected response 1 second later

Who said a 280-pound bear can’t have personality? Well, one furry friend currently making the rounds online certainly does. The bear lives in the Olympic Game Farm…

People Wondered about the Purpose of These 6 Things & Got Unexpected Answers

The world is a captivating realm, teeming with enigmatic objects that never cease to astound individuals with their appearance and, of course, their elusive purposes. After all,…

Elephant Gives Birth to Something Very Rare, Staff Sees The Baby & Immediately Screams!

A miracle twin elephant birth in Kenya’s Amboseli National Park has breathed new life into conservation efforts and captured the hearts of wildlife enthusiasts around the world….

Dolly Parton Stuns in Outfit During Thanksgiving Day Football Game Halftime Show

Dolly Parton shocked football fans everywhere on Thanksgiving Day when she performed the halftime show of the Dallas Cowboys, Washington Commanders football game. People were stunned when…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *