Coach Bill Belichick has one of the most impressive resumes in all of professional sports. On the field, he’s a master tactician whose style will be studied for decades to come.
Off the field, he’s a patriot for real, a friend of former President Donald Trump, and an advocate for national pride.
That’s why when the players on his team voted to once again allow “protest kneeling” during the National Anthem, he quickly put an end to it.
“Not on my field,” said Belichick, “You can cry to the union all you want. We have a collective bargaining agreement that gives coaches total control from the second you leave the locker room.”
After some investigation, ALLOD Forensic Journalisticator Tara Newhole found that in the collective bargaining agreement Belichick is referring to, there is no mention of kneeling specifically, and coaches only have “full control” when the game clock is moving.
“Yeah, come to find out they can all stand around on the field naked giving ol’ Bill the finger as long as the game clock is stopped.” Other sports analysts have disputed the notion but they all admit it would be pretty funny.
More coaches should follow Belichick’s lead/ He has a winning record for a reason. God Bless America.