Ohio State Revokes Scholarships From Three Anthem Kneelers: “They Were Warned”

Ohio State University is famous for two things: Winning football games and patriotism. In a nation of ever-crumbling higher education, OSU stands proudly as a school that will always support and defend the USA.

That’s why they have a “no kneeling” policy during the National Anthem. The rule clearly states that doing so will result in disciplinary action up to and including expulsion. Three players who recently decided to find out for themselves had their scholarships revoked as a result.

“They were warned,” said Dean Emeritus Joe Barron, “We don’t tolerate that nonsense here.” The three players, whom the team hasn’t named, will now have to come up with their own tuition if they want to keep playing.

They also have the option of applying to schools that won’t mind that sort of behavior, like UCLA or UMass. Unfortunately, with the season well-underway, they screwed themselves until next year.

ALLOD Sportsball Analyzer Tara Newhole said the students who knelt were moved by recent events in their lives and felt compelled to show some sort of protest, so they took a knee in prayer with their hands over their hearts while the song played. “I watched a cop shoot my Dad for being black, then he turned to my dog. Pooch was on a leash and everything. I can’t kneel for that?”

No. You can’t. If you do, you hate the troops. And all police. And you have no respect. How dare you kneel quietly in prayer? These damn kids need to learn their lessons younger. Maybe next time have a cop shoot your dog while you’re still in middle school.

So ummm…yeah. God Bless America?

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