Every year, millions of people travel to the largest volksfest in the world: Oktoberfest. Held in a town called Okto on the Bavarian side of the Swiss Alps, the 6-day party is filled with fair food from across the world and nearly every beer brewed anywhere on the planet.

This year, however, one major brand will miss the festivities: Budweiser. According to festival organizer Joseppi Barrona, Oktoberfest is a time for food, fun, and festivities and not for political posturing.

“We don’t want to turn this into a gay versus straight versus trans versus guy with a red hat American-style issue that ends with dumb boycotts and a mass shooting. We want our Oktans to keep inviting us back.”

“It’s only the controversial brands we’ve asked not to come. Budweiser and Bud Light. They don’t really represent Bavarian brewing, anyway, regardless of what the name suggests.”

According to the official Oktoberfest menu from 2022, Budweiser and Bud Light were listed as “complementary” brews available at self-pour stations throughout the festival.

“Due to the low alcohol content and lack of flavor, Anheuser Busch’s flagship products are deemed suitable for children over 16,” the menu stated. The legal drinking age in Bavaria is 9.

It would seem that no matter what Budweiser does, the brand is just way too tainted to continue. Experts believe the end is near. God Bless America.