ESPN Cancels Rapinoe’s Post-Retirement Broadcasting Career: “She’s Too Toxic”

ESPN had a nice cushy broadcasting job ready and waiting for Megan Rapinoe. All she had to do was make it to her career’s end without incident. She failed miserably, and now she has nothing planned for the next…several decades.

After flubbing a penalty kick on an open net and sending her team back home in disgrace, Rapinoe sealed her fate by affirming that she doesn’t care what “flag-waving nationalist stooges” think of her or her performance.

“Megan is tired of listening to these ingrates who know nothing about soccer denigrate her for having a political opinion,” said Rapinoe’s lawyer Joe Barron, “they’re all over the place screaming about how hateful the US team is, but not one of them can name a single player other than my client.”

Why does she need a lawyer to answer questions for her? We’re not really sure, but it probably doesn’t have much to do with her becoming the Woke Choke overnight.

With Rapinoe trending across most of social media, there’s a good possibility Jason Aldean will have something to say. And also Lee Greenwood. But not Garth Brooks. Never Garth Brooks.

“He’s as toxic as Rapinoe,” said ALLOD Correspondent Skip Tetheludah, “It may even be worth having them do some kind of a show together. Possibly The View. Who knows?”

Skip is great at sniffing out stories, patriots. Stay tuned for the inevitable bounty of tater bait to come. God Bless America.

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