Ben and Jerry’s Fires Entire Social Media Department After Disastrous “Stolen Land” Tweet

Ben and Jerry’s decided it would be a good idea to call America a horrible country that stole all its land from the natives. On 4th of July weekend.

Needless to say, it didn’t go over well. The immediate boycotting of the brand by patriotic Americans cost the parent company of the operation more than $2 billion. Its response was swift and decisive.

“We’ve terminated the social media division of Ben and Jerry’s,” said Dutch CEO Johansen Barron, “they were holdouts from the old regime, back when the company was still owned by political activists from Vermont.”

These days, the creamery in Vermont is nothing but a tourist attraction that puts out about three percent of the company’s yield. “We don’t need any of it,” said Barron.”

It’s a good thing the Dutch stepped in and made clear just what Ben and Jerry’s stands for now. Corporate profits and nothing else. The boycotts won’t affect much of anything, because again, the boycotters either already shunned the third wokest company in America or they buy the store brand for $2.84 less.

For this reporter, it was a stunning revelation. I stopped eating the brand when they discontinued Rainforest Crunch back in like 1994 or something. Before every flavor had to have a purpose.

Nowadays the company is capitalism at its finest, but they made the mistake of hanging on to the crunchy granola Gen Xers that actually stand for something. No more; problem solved. God Bless You, Dutch Multinational, and God Bless America.

Related Posts

Shiloh Jolie, Angelina Jolie’s 16-year-old daughter, has begun her first romance: see how the actress reacted.

Time, that mysterious phenomenon, moves so quickly that its passage sometimes passes unnoticed. Shiloh, the once-tender child who rested in the arms of Angelina Jolie and Brad…

Prince William Steps in for Father King Charles

With King Charles undergoing regular cancer treatments in London, his son Prince William has taken on the responsibility of fulfilling the royal duties on behalf of his…

Luke Bryan Thanks Fans for Support After Losing Voice at National Championship Game

Fans of musician Luke Bryan have rallied around him with their best wishes after he lost his voice while cheering on the Georgia Bulldogs during the National…

Brad Pitt ‘devastated’ by children dropping his surname, and blames Angelina Jolie, claims source

Brad Pitt has been left ‘devastated’ by the fact that his kids are dropping his surname, and believes that ex-wife Angelina Jolie is a driving factor behind…

Unveiling the Mystery of the Vintage Knife Sharpener

Have you ever come across an old, peculiar kitchen gadget and wondered what it could be? Recently, a homeowner shared a picture of such a gadget in…

A little boy without arms dreams of becoming a police officer, and one day, a police officer dresses him like his colleague

What begins as a chance meeting between a boy and a police officer sparks a special partnership and a special friendship, attracting rave reviews and millions of…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *